Life and Breath
by kenihiko
Summary: post winter war.  the captain commander dies, who will now lead the Gotei 13?  shun/uki story
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: i do not own the characters of this story. and make no profit from it.**_

_**characters may be OOC, and all mistakes are mine alone.**_

_**WARNING: M/M relationship don't like don't read.**_

* * *

Life and breath

pt. 1

It was like watching an accident happen: you knew what was taking place, you knew what the outcome would be, yet you just could not look away from the horrifying beauty of it.

That's what Shunsui Kyoraku was feeling at just that moment.

The war, for the most part, was over, countless lives had been were lost on all fronts. His heart ached to see the widespread carnage.

"Shunsui," Captain-Commander Yamamato's voice rasped out, "I know you're here somewhere," his scared head turning sightlessly back and forth.

"Here, Yama-jii." His own voice was not in much better shape: Shunsui could not believe how old he sounded.

"It's time my boy," the old man said slowly, "I need you to promise to care for everyone."

"What are you talking about?" Shunsui edged closer to his former teacher.

"It's all up to you now," the tired old voice was fading, extinguishing like an unattended campfire with nothing left to burn. "It was decided long ago: you are the one best-suited, I entrust it all to you now."

Looking around in disbelief, Shunsui began to shake at the implications of the words. "You can't possibly mean...no, NO WAY! I don't want it, let someone else take it," he said desperately.

"There is no one else, Shunsui." The old man's voice was weak but still commanding.

"But what about Byakuya ?"

"No."

"Then how about Yuroichi?"

"No."

"Why the hell not, they're both from noble families?"

"No, it must be you." The old man was trying to push up onto his elbows. "YOU are the only one who can do this - there is no one else."

"You must lead the Gotei 13," he continued calmly, "You, Shunsui Kyoraku, are the only one who can do it. Jyuushiro is a very capable man, there is no doubt in my mind of that, but he would never be completely accepted due to his health." The tired voice was failing at an alarming rate. "Unohana simply has her hands too full with the work of Squad Four despite her wisdom and age., and frankly there isn't anyone else who is trustworthy to do it, so it must be you."

Shunsui felt his heart sink. He had never really wanted to be in charge of anything. It was hard enough just being a Captain, and that was made the slightest bit more bearable only because he knew he had a competent Second-in-Command. He knew the fact was he would be a helpless mess if not for her. Not that it _was_ an actual fact: he just liked telling himself that it was - it gave him a reasonable excuse to not do the things he just did not feel like doing. Shunsui was also glad he was not the first-born in his family for that same reason, although there were other resentments that stemmed from that situation.

"Promise me, NOW, Shunsui. There isn't much time left."

Shunsui bowed his head in defeat. "Fine! But I still don't like it."

Yamamato reached out his hand and patted Shunsui's knee. "I knew I could count on you. There's a letter for you in my office when the time comes." His voice trailed off and the old man drifted into unconsciousness.

Shunsui felt Retsu Unohana's calm presence slowly working its way towards him. "Captain Kyoraku, I have a message from your Lieutenant." She handed him a folded slip of paper. "I see the Captain-Commander is no longer conscious?"

"You'd know that better than anyone." He was far too tired to match Unohana's overly- polite demeanor at the moment. "And Nanao-chan? Is she alright?"

"She's resting right now, but she will survive to see another day, unlike..."

Shunsui interrupted her sharply, "Don't say it Retsu-san. I know all too well how things are, just keep him alive." He pointed at the still form of his former teacher, "And Jyuushiro? How's he?"

"Alive for now. At the moment he's resting as comfortably as possible." Her face grew sad. "I'll do what I can for our Captain-Commander, Shunsui-san, but even I cannot stop what will happen, there is just too much damage." She placed a comforting hand over his heart. "You'll do fine, old friend. We will all support you in this."

Shunsui shook his head slowly. "Thanks, but honestly that's not very comforting right now. It's not something I want, and I dread the implications of it all." He unfolded the note to finally read the contents. "SHIT!" he roared, "I've gotta go." the slip of paper floated to the floor in his wake as he shunpo'd out the door.

Retsu Unohana picked up the note and gave it a quick glance, heaving a deep sigh as she crumpled it in her hand. "Oh dear, I do hope this isn't more bad news for you, dear friend." But she knew that an emergency message from his family could only mean even more stress for the usually laid-back captain.


	2. Chapter 2

Life and Breath

Part 2

Days later, Shunsui was finally able to make it back into the heart of the Soul Society, having spent the last several completely inundated by family business. He just could not think clearly at this point.

First point of business, as he saw it, was to visit Squad Four and check up on those that were injured. So far the Captain-Commander was still alive, just barely, or so the young healer who was changing the bandages confided to him. The old man could still fade from existence at any time, a thought which had Shunsui shaking to the core.

Nanao had since been released and sent home to rest, and Jyuushiro was nowhere in sight. Shunsui began to panic when he was unable to find the injured man. In his panicked state his reiatsu flared, flattening the weaker souls around him.

"Captain Shunsui Kyoraku, get control of yourself, or get out." The command was snapped at him from Fourth Squad Captain Retsu Unohana. "I'll not have you doing further harm to the sick and injured that are in my care."

Sometimes it was difficult to reign in all that power, but he managed it. He bowed his head to Unohana, "Sorry...But Retsu-sempai, where the hell is Ukitake? I couldn't find him anywhere, and then I was told he was gone."

"That's right, he's not here. I sent him out of here so that my other patients could rest."

Shunsui's eyebrow twitched upward slightly. "Wait, let me guess...the thirds?"

Unohana released a small sigh of frustration. "So troublesome. I fail to see how he is able to put up with the nonsense, but they're loyal and will see to his every need, to the point of an obsession I felt it was safer to have him sent to his quarters so they could run attendance on him there, rather than upset the delicate balance I strive to maintain here."

"Still!...I hope you have someone else there who's competent, medically speaking?"

How she had managed to keep her eyes from rolling at what was obviously a foolish question still baffled Shunsui. "Of course, I'd like to assume that I'm more thorough than that, Shunsui Kyoraku." He stopped her from continuing with a finger placed softly on her lips.

"I know that, I'm just really tired and a bit cranky. It's been a bitch and a half since our return..."

The sudden harsh wave of reiatsu had the two captains collapsing to the floor as their knees buckled under the powerful burst.

"Oh my..." Unohana's large warm eyes filled with tears.

"Fuck, no," Shunsui nearly wailed.

Others around them weren't as lucky as to remain mostly upright; there were a lot of shinigami who simply passed out. Shunsui thought that they just might be the more fortunate among them , the unconscious ones who didn't have to deal with what had just happened.

That immense wave that had just crashed over everyone was the last breath of Captain-Commander Genryusai Yamamato.

"Come with me," Unohana held out her hand, "We have to go to him."

"It's a bit late for goodbyes, Retsu-san," holding onto the healer's soft hand, tears streamed unchecked over Shunsui's cheeks.

"I know! But come along, Shunsui, it's what he'd want." she gently squeezed his larger hand in hers.

"Jyuu-chan should be here," he hesitated. Unohana shook her head.

"No he's not up for something of this magnitude just yet." continuing to shake her head, "I instructed Isane to sedate him for when this would happen."


	3. Chapter 3

Life and Breath

pt 3

It took more time to get from Squad Four to Squad Thirteen's barracks than it logically should have. Everyone questioned him about the old man' s passing and what was going to happen in the future of the Gotei 13.

He mumbled some replies and got away with some noncommittal shrugs before waving off further questions and proceeding on his way.

He saw them coming and sighed deeply, the two third seats came rushing toward him, before they even began what was sure to be another of their ridiculous arguments. He forestall the barrage by placing a hand over each mouth and shaking his head, "Not now," he murmured quietly.

Both nodded their heads, and he let his hands drop to his side. As he entered Jyuushiro's room Kiyone: with an unusually quiet voice said, "I'll go make some tea and bring it to the room."

Shunsui nodded and slid the door closed. Ukitake was sound asleep in a semi-reclining position, one that would help with his breathing. Isane had left the squad thirteen captain in her sister's hands for the night so that the healer could get some much needed and well deserved sleep.

He was desperate to hold Jyuushiro, yet terrified that he might inadvertently damage the fragile healing process.

Peeling off the outer layers of his uniform he crawled under the thick comforter and stretched out on his back. Honestly just wanted to curl around his lover but really didn't want to disturb him or take the chance of reopening the horrible wound in his chest.

Jyuushiro shifted in his sleep, responding the the new warmth at his side. "unnn...Shunsui?" he stretched out a hand to touch the solid body. "Oh Shunsui" he rolled onto his side and buried his face in the soft hair on his lovers broad chest. "Is sensei really..."

Shunsui threaded his fingers through the soft, pale hair, "Yeah Jyuu he's gone," he could feel the thin shoulders trembling, and began to run his hands over Jyuushiro's back, trying to comfort the man who was curling into his embrace. He felt his own tears trail over his cheeks as Ukitake's shoulders shook with grief.

When the tears had subsided Ukitake coughed several times then looked up into Shunsui's eyes. " I should have been there, I should have been there with sensei,"

Brushing a few stray tears off Ukitake's face, "It's ok, Retsu was right you wouldn't have been able to handle it." he pushed up onto his elbows, "The ceremony is in two days, you'll be there even if I have to carry you and have you sit on my lap for the whole thing."

"You would do that wouldn't you?"

"Yep, but I always like holding you on my lap so it's not that big of a deal." Shunsui smiled warmly. Ukitake lightly punched his arm.

"Now who's going to lead us? We have to have a leader."

"Hehe," Shunsui chuckled as he ran a hand down his face. "It's already taken care of."

"Oh?"

"Don't worry your pretty head about it, you're completely off the hook."

"Oh? " Ukitake repeated, "I see, so who's the lucky soul? Wait let me guess...Byakuya?" he watched as Shunsui shook his head, "But he's the most likely candidate, since he's a noble," Shunsui continued to shake his head. "Well that would leave Unohana-san and you."

"Senpai is busy with the fourth." Shunsui said flatly.

"So that means you..." Jyuushiro's eyes widened. "By the gods what were they thinking?"

"That's what I sai...OI! Hey, Jyuu-chan that wasn't nice." he tried to frown, but ultimately failed when he saw the glimmer of humor in Ukitake's eyes. "Tease," he said grumpily. "You've no idea how happy I am to see you smile again." he ran a thumb along Jyuushiro's jaw.

"What'll you do now?" Jyuushiro pressed his cheek into the hand at his face. "That's a lot of work."

"Apparently Yama-jii left me notes on how to proceed and why I was picked for this lovely new adventure, dammit there are other Captains..."

"Yes there are, but would you want them in charge?"

Sighing, Shunsui laid back down on the futon and pulled Jyuushiro close, being extra cautious. "No! not really, I, however despise all the responsibilities that goes with being in charge of anything,"

"What about the academy? Captain-Commander was in charge of that also."

"Aw hell no." Shunsui Kyoraku groaned in defeat. "Not that too,"

"That is a lot for you to take on Shunsui but nothing insurmountable."

Heaving a deep, heavy sigh, Shunsui shifted, "It's not just Soul Society business that I have care of now Jyuu, it's my family too... I just don't...gods it's too much."

"Shunsui? Tell me what's wrong," he placed his hands on Shunsui's face, cupping the whisker covered jawline, "Please my dear friend, you know you can tell me anything."

"It's the worst of all situations," he stared off into space, "I'm now head of the family."


	4. Chapter 4

Life and breath

pt 4

"It's the worst of all situations," he stared off into space, "I'm now head of the family."

Ukitake wasn't sure he had heard that correctly, "That's not funny, Kyoraku"

"I'm not laughing."

"It must be some kind of joke,"

Shunsui shuttered, "Yeah! The jokes on me, one big fat, fucking cosmic joke" he decided to tell the whole tale to his 'captive' audience.

* * *

(Days earlier)

Most times, if one were to take the lazy way, it took maybe five large shunpo steps to get to his family's home, if one had to rush it could take three to make the trip, that day Shunsui made it in half that time.

The family compound was unusually quiet for the time of day that he arrived. The courtyard utterly void of the everyday hustle and bustle.

Upon entering the main building the silence was beginning to creep him out. Even the servants were subdued.

"Oh Shunsui," the whisper of clothe was the only notice he got of his mother's arrival, as she threw herself into his arms, "I'm so grateful that you made it." he was taken back by her appearance. Dark smudges under her eyes, and an over all haggard look was uncommon for his beautiful mother.

"Mom? What's going on?" he grew quite concerned when she began to sob against his chest.

"So glad you're home safe," she repeated that phrase several times.

Trying to be very gentle, he shook her shoulders, "Mom, where's dad? And my brother? Please tell me what's going on?"

Gulping down a few huge breaths, "Your brother...oh heavens above, Shunsui your brother's gone, he's gone."

"No," he said with a hushed gasp. "How can that be?"

"And your father," the sobbing started to overtake her once more, "He'll never walk again," her voice failed at that point. Shunsui scooped her into his arms, intent on carrying her to her room.

He nodded to the maid who opened the bedroom door, and with the utmost care lay his mother on the huge bed his parents had always shared. He was puzzled as to why his father wasn't there, if the man was no longer able to walk wouldn't this be the one place he would be?

He sat on the bed next to his mother and rubbed her back in a comforting manner, after awhile she seemed to cry herself out and fell into a fitful slumber. He leaned over and kissed her temple, then stood to leave.

The life force of all the inhabitants seemed dramatically muted. He grabbed the nearest servant and demanded to be taken to see his father, the boy flinched, and would have passed out if Shunsui hadn't been holding him upright, staring right into those frightened eyes.

"Ye...ye...yes sir," he stuttered. The boy lead him to his brother's room. "He's in here sir," Shunsui chuckled as the lad sped away.

He pushed the door open to find near total darkness, "Dad?" a small trimmed back lamp showed a lump on the bed. "Dad? What the hell are you doing in here?"

"Shunsui?"

"Yeah it's me, why aren't you in your own bed? This is ridiculous." he approached the bed, "You've never left mom's side."

"I don't want to burden her with this." his father's voice sounded sullen.

Sighing Shunsui sat on the side of the bed. "Dad tell me what happened."

"Your brother's gone,"

"Yeah mom said," he reached out to raise the flame on the lamp. "Why is it so dark in here? It's not night."

"I hadn't noticed."

"Dad?" Shunsui waved a hand in front of his father's face. "Have you gone blind?"

"Almost, well near enough that it doesn't matter, I'll never get out of this bed again,"

"So you're just gonna give up? That's not like you at all."

"Why shouldn't I?" it was a petulant question. "I've done enough, let someone else do it."

"Dad, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard." Shunsui sighed and crossed his arms. "Tell me what happened."

"Your brother's gone." he repeated,

"So you've said," he was actually losing patience with his injured and petulant father. "Now! Please dad tell me what happened?"

"A stray, wild hollow caught him by surprise," he reached out a hand to grab Shunsui's arm. "It ate him, that creature ate my son."

Shunsui sighed heavily as his father drifted off into babbling incoherence. Realizing he'd get no further information from the man his once strong father had become, he left the room, vowing to get the details from the one other person who he was sure would be able to fill in the blanks sufficiently.

He hated seeing his strong, confident parents turned into blubbering lumps.

The door he stopped in front of was polished to a mirror shine, one of the very few western style doors in the whole huge manor. He tapped politely and received an answer to enter.

"Ah Master Shunsui, it's wonderful to see you." the man stood quickly and bowed deeply, "From the look on your face you have questions."

"You could always tell, Ryu-san." he bowed back to the man, "I see you're still the one who really runs things around here."

"I strive to keep things on an even keel sir."

"Always the consummate estate manager," Shunsui sat in one of the overstuffed chairs with an exhausted sigh. "So tell me, what the hell happened here?"

"You've seen your parents,Yes?" Shunsui nodded.

"I knew I could get a straight answer from you,"

"It was completely a random attack, your brother was...occupied with something and not paying attention to his surroundings, when the thing caught him," he paused to sip some tea, "Dear me I'm remiss in my manners, would you care for some tea also?"

"Got anything stronger?"

"Would you care to try some imported wine I just received?"

"What ever you have that has a kick to it, I really don't care at this point, I just need that cushion."

The conversation came to a stand still for several minutes as the manager busied himself with getting the wine for his young master.

"So what the hell had my brother so entranced that he didn't feel a hollow coming up on him?"

"As I said he was occupied," for some reason the man seemed reluctant to explain fully.

"Meaning he was screwing someone and wasn't paying attention." that got a nod from Ryu. "And he didn't bother to set up any kind of barrier or warning system, 'cause he was too fucking horny." again the nod. "So how did dad get so hurt? And please for the love of all the gods and goddess's don't tell me they were together, I would have to throw up then kill myself,"

The old estate manager nearly choked on his tea, "No of course not, your father is not like that." he continued to clear his throat. "We were out hunting, there were reports of some spectacular deer in the highlands and we wanted to bag several for your parents anniversary party."

"I noticed how you said dad's not like that but you left out my brother, so who was he with? Or is that something I'm better off not knowing?"

"Lets leave it with that shall we Master Shunsui," they nodded at each other. "We were close to where your brother was when we felt the power flair, your father took; off leaving me to follow. By the time we got there it was already too late, that abomination had already absorbed them, your father went wild."

"Yeah of course he would," the old bitter feelings crept into his voice.

"Your father loves both of you, young man, you know that very well."

"Yeah but..." Ryu held up his hand. Shunsui sighed, "He has a funny way of showing it, he always did, especially since I wasn't the heir,"

"You are now."

"What?"

"With your brother gone and your father the way he is, it leaves you in charge of the family now, Master Kyoraku"

Shuttering visibly Shunsui returned to the previous question, "So how did dad get hurt then, he's one of the strongest fighters I've ever seen."

"Even the strongest have a weakness."

"You're not gonna tell me the details are you?" Shunsui drained yet another glass of wine.

"Do you really want to know?"

"I think I'd better so I know how to deal with him."

"He tried to take the monster out barehanded."

"What? That's stupid and irresponsible."

"It begged him to kill it, Master Shunsui, do you know what that means?"

A look of horror crossed Shunsui's face. "My brother was still conscious."

Ryu nodded, "Hence the reason your father went a bit crazy, to put it bluntly he lost control of himself, and it cost him dearly."

Pushing up from the chair Shunsui moaned when he felt the headache starting. "There's not enough booze around here to make this head stop hurting, make sure to have _a lot _brought up to my room, I've got loads to think about. And thanks Ryu-san."

They bowed to each other again.

"As you wish Master Kyoraku" Ryu added as a parting shot.

Shunsui felt like running and screaming in disbelief. First it was the possible leadership in the Seireitei now this. It was too much for his head to wrap around.

He wanted to get very drunk, and he badly wanted to wrap himself around Jyuushiro, to have that familiar comforting presence. His world just suddenly blew up in his face and he couldn't help feel completely and utterly helpless.


	5. Chapter 5

Life and Breath

Pt. 5

The sound of thundering, running feet was the wake-up call the next morning for Shunsui. He slid his door open slowly.

It dawned on him that he was neither drunk enough nor sober enough to deal with the sight that was heading his direction, so he slid the door closed and dove under the covers.

Every female member of the clan was stampeding directly toward his room. The young, the old, the married, and the single were all making a beeline to the new master, and just this once, Shunsui was scared. It was too much, too soon.

The excited giggles and whispers came to an abrupt halt when a stern voice called for quiet and ordered the quick dismissal of the crowd. Never in his whole life had Shunsui been so happy to hear his mother's authoritative voice ring out. It also meant that she was feeling back to her usual self. That thought made him groan.

Even though he was expecting it, the firm knock on the door frame sent a shiver down his spine, and he bolted upward with a start.

"Shunsui, dearest? I'm coming in, you'd best be decent."

"I'm never decent," he joked.

She slid the door open. "I realize that, I simply meant you'd best be covered and alone."

"For once, Mom, I'm both." He pulled the blanket up to his chest. "So, I see you're feeling better."

"Yes, I am." She fiddled with the sleeve of her kimono. "About that..." she lapsed into silence.

"Mom, it must have all been a horrible shock. There's no need to go into it."

"Your father requested to be brought back to our room last night."

"Good! He finally got his head out of his ass long enough to realize how stupid he was being."

His mother smacked his bare shoulder. "Don't talk about your father like that,"

"Even though it's true?"

"He's still your father and deserves your respect." She twisted the material on her sleeve a little more, "but yes, even though it's true."

"So what happens now?"

"You take over as head of the clan."

"Why me? You could do this on your own."

"I only married into the clan: it would never be allowed." Her voice had an angry edge_:_ one Shunsui had learned to fear years ago.

"Stupid miserable hide-bound antiquated excuses for..." His mother gentl_y_ patted his shoulder and ended his rant for the moment. "Mom, you're worth more than _all_ the fools in this family put together."

"But I was not born a Kyoraku. That's an automatic disqualification."

"...fucking stupid rule," he mumbled.

"I know, dear," she soothed.

There was a knock on the door. She rose to answer it, and moved to the side as the servant brought in a tray laden with food.

"I figured you'd be hungry this morning, as am I. Since I was coming here to chat with you, I thought I'd order breakfast brought here for both of us."

"Very efficient, as always, Mom, and very clever." He grabbed at a piece of fruit. "I never turn down food served to me in bed by a lovely young lady...OW!" Shunsui rubbed at his arm where his mother had pinched him firmly. "I meant _you_," he pouted playfully.

"You are simply incorrigible - hopeless."

"I hear that a lot."

"What a surprise," she deadpanned, her chopsticks flying as she picked apart the grilled fish in front of her.

"Mom," he studied her intently, "just how long has it been since you've eaten anything?"

"I'm not sure," she shrugged. "I kind of lost track of time."

"Mother!" he admonished firmly.

"Don't _you_ take that tone with me! I'm still your mother." She jabbed his hand with a chopstick.

Rubbing his wounded hand, Shunsui simply shook his head. " You should know better: you'd never let _me_ get away with something like that _._.."

"I don't need a lecture from you, young man." she said pointedly.

"Better me than Dad...or worse, Gran." They both shuddered at the thought of being lectured by Shunsui's formidable grandmother.

"That little harpy would screech my ears off for a week."

"Or more," Shunsui added. They both sighed and went back to eating.

They spent an hour chatting and eating, after which his mother excused herself to check on how her husband was faring. Shunsui kissed her cheek and saw her out, after which he stretched out on his bed again, thinking about what his next move should be.

Once it was established that he was taking charge of the clan, he was sure that the elders would be content to leave the day-to-day management in the capable hands of his mother and the trusted old family retainer, Ryu.

"...and that's it." Shunsui was gently stroking Jyuushiro's arm as they lay together on his futon after Shunsui's return. "Once I had that conversation with Mom, my mind was a lot clearer. I decided to just give in to the inevitable."

"My poor friend," Ukitake murmured. "So you're also the head of your clan now, as well as, leading the Gotei 13. It's not something I envy."

"Gee, thanks," Shunsui declared sarcastically, "Right now, I'm just happy to have you in my arms - so no picking on me."

"What next?" Jyuushiro blinked owlishly.

" I'm too tired to think of what's next, only that I just want to sleep and hold you; knowing that you're safe and sound." Shunsui threaded his fingers through the pale silver hair. "Tomorrow's soon enough to figure out what's next."

Both sighed with contentment as they fell asleep.


End file.
